Cat Tales: A Dragon Cat's Life
by AyumiFallassion
Summary: They look at my species and see either a Skooma user or a thief. My Status as DragonBorn makes them only see me as a Warrior. Very few know me as a sarcastic, pissed off, Look-at-me-wrong-and-I-EAT-you! kinda girl. Sheogorath must be laughing his fool head off at me! Kat'arina's story, as a Dragon Slayer who would just like the World to stop so she can get off.
1. Pissed-Off Kitty

Ok, I was playing Skyrim, and everytime I talked to a person in town, the voice of my character kept sounding so freaking sarcastic and pissed us at the world in my mind. So, I'm writing them down before I forget them.

For the record, I don't mean queen as in a royal. (If I ever do, I'll capitalize it.) In her case, I mean queen as in a female cat.

Disclaimer: I thought I owned Skyrim once. Then I took an- no, I can't do it! It's too overused!

Warning: Salty Language.

* * *

The young snow leopard Khajiit could not believe the shitty ass day she'd been having. First, she gets separated from her family caravan as they attempted to enter the land of Skyrim. Last she saw, they were still fighting off the small horde of what appeared to be Imperial Legionaries, if tattered and filthy examples of the fighters. Then, she stumbles into the middle of what must have been the REAL Imperials, and next thing she knew, she was waking up in a rumbling cart, surrounded by a horse thief, a revolutionary, and what appeared to be a Jarl of the snow-bound country. Before she could argue her case to the assholes in charge, they force her to the chopping block.

And then, the dragon appeared. Oh yes, by Azura's Glowing Tits, this has just been a bitch of a day.

Luckily, the same revolutionary from the cart had been another survivor, and between the two of them, Nocturnal must have smiled on them just enough to help them escape. Beautiful. Now, she was wandering around the mountain with a Nord, half naked because her furr crawled at the thought of taking the lice-infested armor from a dead man, with nothing but a pair of ragged booties, her underwear, and a crap-tastic bow to keep the wolves from chewing on her dappled flesh.

_'Oh yes,'_ she thought as the Nord took a second to honor the Guardian Stones at the side of the road._ 'My life is the living example of that Redguard curse; May you Live in Interesting Times.'_

The man glanced back at her as she grumbled quietly under her breath, claws absently scratching whorl patterns into the wood of her bow. "I know this has been a troubling day, but it could always be worse," he offered.

"And how," she growled, (not that she was growling cause she was angry at him, she was a Khajiit, it always sounded like growling) "could this day be any worse?"

He grinned, trying to be optimistic. After all they were still alive. The young queen would always live with the trio of scars over her nose though. "It could be raining."

As if summoned, the clouds that had been hanging low as it was suddenly opened up, freezing rain pouring down. Ralof started up into the rain in disbelief before turning back to the young cat. Only to bite his lip, trying not to laugh in her face. Her fluffy fur was plastered down, and her ears were pinned back in disgust. She held up a clawed hand as he opened his mouth to say something. "No. Just no. Just, get me to a fire, or an arrow to the head, cause I am done with today."


	2. ADD Kitty

Ok, I was playing Skyrim, and everytime I talked to a person in town, the voice of my character kept sounding so freaking sarcastic and pissed us at the world in my mind. So, I'm writing them down before I forget them.

For the record, I don't mean queen as in a royal. (If I ever do, I'll capitalize it.) In her case, I mean queen as in a female cat.

Disclaimer: I thought I owned Skyrim once. Then I took an- no, I can't do it! It's too overused!

Warning: Salty Language.

* * *

Thank the Gods for a town. Kat'arina shook herself thoroughly outside of Ralof's sister's house as a courtesy to Gerdur. Most people considered it rude to drip inside the house, and as a Khajiit, she could drip quite a lot. All the fur, you know?

The local blacksmith had already promised to help her craft some new armor from the wolf furs she'd collected on the way down. Gerdur was waiting inside with a hot drink for the young craftswoman, and while she couldn't stop him, Ralof had been polite enough to park himself in the mill before laughing his fool Nord head off at the drowned Skeever look the girl had been sporting from the rain. Life was looking up a little.

She stared down the road as she squeegeed the water from her tail. Whiterun was the next on her list of places to go. If they survived, her family would be heading there, and the Jarl needed to know about the Dragon at Helgen anyway. Course, she had no idea why Ralof couldn't go himself, as Gerdur had told her that Whiterun wasn't under Imperial reign just yet. But, no matter. As long as she didn't get too sidetracked on the way to the-

"I am tired of these Arkay-damned Draugr, in this Arkay-damned Barrow!" she screamed, throwing her hands in the air as she stood over the shriveled body of a formerly walking corpse. "Seriously, I thought the Arkay priests were supposed to take care of these things! F*ckers of other peoples mothers!"

Yeah. Someone got sidetracked…

The only good thing about this was that she was getting stocked up on gold, arrows, and the every now and then gem or other useful artifact.

And that strange chanting! She didn't know where it was coming from, but it was driving her insane! Her ears twitched as she followed the sounds, growling under her breath as she stomped her way down the tunnel. A door was in her way: She kicked it in. Another Draugr creaked out at her; She melted its face off with one of the few spells she'd ever bothered to learn. A compass door was next. She calmed momentarily as she stared at the animals on the door, only to blink as she put her bag down, rifling through only to grab the Gold Claw. "I thought so," she muttered, seeing the trio on the underside of the claw. She quickly pushed the combination into the right under, grinning as the door slid down with a rumble.

Oh! Shiny! Something was glowing up on the curved wall. Khajiit instincts kicked in, the young queen stalking up to see if she could play with the shiny. Shiny things, we love shiny things!

Only it wasn't something she could play with. It was just a handful of scratches, and that incessant chanting! She sighed, staring at the glow in complete disbelief, only to blink as new knowledge suddenly unfolded in her mind. "Fos?" she muttered, leaning back against the alter, only to hear a clink as her hand landed on a stone tablet. "hm. You know, that looks important," she murmured, slipping it into her bag with the claw.

Only for the coffin in front of the altar to crack, the lid flying off as yet another Draugr lurched upwards. "Oh, come on!"


	3. Jellicle Kitty

Ok, I was playing Skyrim, and everytime I talked to a person in town, the voice of my character kept sounding so freaking sarcastic and pissed us at the world in my mind. So, I'm writing them down before I forget them.

For the record, I don't mean queen as in a royal. (If I ever do, I'll capitalize it.) In her case, I mean queen as in a female cat.

Disclaimer: I thought I owned Skyrim once. Then I took an- no, I can't do it! It's too overused!

Warning: Salty Language. Bonus points if you know where the songs are from!

* * *

The young queen sighed as she stared at the handful of coins in her furry palm. Only three left. Not enough to buy a room for the night, and it was already too late to go and see the Jarl today. Her mind raced as she tried to figure out where all of it had gone._ 'Well, there was 50 to bribe the guard to let a Khajiit into his upright and Perfect Nordic Town. 300 to the caravan outside the walls so they would spread the word and look for my family group. 100 to buy a weeks' worth of food. And the last 200 went to…'_

Adrianne tilted her head at the cat as she passed over the last bundle of steel arrows. "Do you need to return a few?" she offered.

Kat'arina shook her head after a second. "No no, I have a plan. I'm just going to have to sing for my supper tonight." She grinned, fangs flashing at the evil thought that ran through her head. "Come to the Bannered Mare in a little while. I can promise you have never heard any of my songs before."

The blacksmith smiled, nodding her head. "I may just take you up on that. It will be nice to hear something other than another round of Ragnar the Red."

An hour later found the pair in the Inn. The young Khajiit had a borrowed lute balanced on her lap as she perched delicately on a stool. Adrianne could see the sudden advantage to claws as the cat plucked out a quick set of scales, tuning the strings before setting her helmet upside down on the ground to hold any tips she might receive. The blacksmith was suddenly worried at the evil gleam in her friend's eye, but before she could say anything, she started singing in the husky voice that was inherent in the Khajiit race._ "Oh, a Wizard's staff has a knob on the end…"_

The inn was silent as a tomb as she continued to sing. It was a chirpy tune that made fun of the Wizards and implied that they preferred courting their own genders. However, since most Nords are not fans of magic anyway this turned out to be a huge hit. The young woman bowed to the inn as her helmet started to fill with coin, thankful that this was all she had to do tonight and that she didn't have to go into the Hedgehog song. She doubted that anyone outside of Morrowind would know what a hedgehog was, buuuut better to quit while she was ahead.

Adrianne shook her head at the young queen, but tossed a coin in herself. "You, are a crazy cat."

"It makes life interesting."

So? How are you going to wreck havoc now?"

"Oh, sleep in, then go warn the Jarl about the dragon that's possibly on it's way here."

"The WHAT?!"

The girl held up clawed hands as the Inn reverberated with the news. "Truthfully, if it has not shown up yet, then I believe it has gone elsewhere. But it is better to be safe than sorry."

Another Nord stared at her, his mouth hanging open. "Are you sure about that?"

"Who can ever be sure? Now," she grinned before holding up a few sheet of parchment. "5 gold pieces for a copy of the Wizard's song! Help to spread it through Skyrim!"

Adrianne leaned over to whisper into a tufted ear. "What happens when it eventually reaches the ears of the Mage's College?"

"Well, I sure will not be staying here."


	4. Singed Kitty

Ok, I was playing Skyrim, and everytime I talked to a person in town, the voice of my character kept sounding so freaking sarcastic and pissed us at the world in my mind. So, I'm writing them down before I forget them.

For the record, I don't mean queen as in a royal. (If I ever do, I'll capitalize it.) In her case, I mean queen as in a female cat.

Disclaimer: I thought I owned Skyrim once. Then I took an- no, I can't do it! It's too overused!

Warning: Salty Language.

* * *

"So, you want me to go treasure hunting for an artifact that may not even be there anymore?"

"I only said that it may or may not be there, not that it may not be there. There is an actual difference." Farengar absently played with a small soul gem as he poked at his tomes on his desk. "It's a stone tablet, covered in the old writings of the ancients."

"Wait," Kat'arina reached into her bag, which had been set on the ground when she'd figured that this was to be a long conversation anyway. Farengar was nice enough, if rather absent minded. "Do you mean this thing? This useless hunk of stone that I found earlier?" she asked, pulling out the tablet that had been in the Barrow. She'd forgotten about it when that last Draugr had popped out of his coffin, and then with everything else that had happened that night, she was lucky she had remembered her own head.

"That's it! I can't believe you found it!"

Before the young mage could continue to gush, Irileth raced in, babbling (or as much as the stoic Dunmer could babble) about a guardsman returning with news about a dragon attacking the Western Watchtower. She couldn't help it. She shook her head as her fingers massaged the growing headache out of her forehead. "The y come here, they all come here. How, do they find me?" she muttered, asking the heavens.

A few minutes later found her outside, stalking her way ahead of the city guard, the claw carvings on her Nordic bow getting more elaborate in her annoyance, but part of her was very nervous as the watchtower came into view. The last time she'd seen a dragon up close, the thing had tried to eat her. Chances were good that this one would try the same.

"Get away! It's still here!"

Sithis and Damnation! She needed to pay better attention! An arrow twanged off, metal head finding a home under the wing joint. The reptile roared, in annoyance more than pain, and a gob of fire hurled its way towards her. She yelped, rolled out of the way, and growled as the dragon lifted back up into the sky. Only to meow in pain as she registered the fact that her tail tip was on fire. "My fur!" she yelled into the sky as she patted out the embers. "You burned my fur! I'M GOING TO EAT YOU!"

The guards backed away a little as the young queen screamed into the sky, something about 'dragon steaks.' "I say, we let her take care of this."

"Agreed, I choose to live."


	5. Crafting Kitty

Ok, I was playing Skyrim, and everytime I talked to a person in town, the voice of my character kept sounding so freaking sarcastic and pissed us at the world in my mind. So, I'm writing them down before I forget them.

For the record, I don't mean queen as in a royal. (If I ever do, I'll capitalize it.) In her case, I mean queen as in a female cat.

Disclaimer: I thought I owned Skyrim once. Then I took an- no, I can't do it! It's too overused!

Warning: Salty Language. I Meant to update earlier, but my husband has basically taken over my PS3 this week, so it's hard to get a chance to play and get more inspiration.

* * *

The young Khajiit hummed to herself as she reclined as best she could in the rocking, creaky wagon, the driver chatting away up front. Her bag was at her feet, a personal project peeking out. She may be a fighter, she may be the DragonBorn that the Greybeards had called for. But she was still a tradeswoman, a daughter of the caravans. And as such, it was practically an instinct to keep her hands busy. Belethor had been happy to sell her a few pounds of the material she needed for the project in mind.

The driver of the cart glanced back at his passenger as the horse-drawn carriage worked its' way to Riften. The young queen was preoccupied as she hummed to herself. The man recognized it as the Wizard's Staff song that was growing in popularity. What can he say? Nords don't like wizards. What was amazing was watching her work. She had a skein of yarn trailing out of her bag, and was using her claws to – what did his sister call it? – crochet the mammoth yarn into what a appeared to be the beginning of an undershirt, the type that other warriors used to help pad areas of the armor that would rub and blister. Mostly, he was amazed at how fast the material was flowing over her hands, and how quickly the shirt was taking form. By the time they were half way to Riften, she was using a dagger to cut off the extra yarn, and the man turned his eyes back to the road as she reached for the ties of her leather armor, obviously intending to switch out her clothes now.

A few hours later found them pulling up outside the gates of Riften. Kat'arina had noticed that it was the closest city to High Hrothgar, so she was planning to sleep in the inn tonight before setting out on foot to the mountain range. Only to be immediately disillusioned about the town when the guard tried to shake her down for a 'visitor's tax.' "I'm sorry, but not only is this obviously a poor attempt at a shake down, but it's a piss poor threat." Her claws came out as she held up her hand, letting it rest on her bow. "I do not respond well to threats," she growled. The guard stuttered, trying to take back what he'd said, but the young woman just snarled after a second. "Just, open the be-damned door." Oh yes, Riften was looking like a poorer and poorer choice with every passing moment.

"You, Khajiit-bitch, you in Riften lookin' for trouble?"

Yep. This was a horrible choice.


	6. Suspicious Kitty

Ok, I was playing Skyrim, and everytime I talked to a person in town, the voice of my character kept sounding so freaking sarcastic and pissed us at the world in my mind. So, I'm writing them down before I forget them.

For the record, I don't mean queen as in a royal. (If I ever do, I'll capitalize it.) In her case, I mean queen as in a female cat.

Disclaimer: I thought I owned Skyrim once. Then I took an- no, I can't do it! It's too overused!

Warning: Salty Language.

* * *

The young cat growled as she groomed spider webs out of her ear tuffs, glaring at Brynjolf, daring him to laugh at her fastidious nature. "That tunnel," she growled, "is crawling with the dregs of society." She grinned all of a sudden, flicking away the last bit of web. "I can see why your guild would be comfortable down here."

Brynjolf, instead of being insulted, threw his head back and laughed, the tunnels echoing with the sound of his mirth. "Aye, that we are lass, it's true that many of us are rather at home down here. Just don't make the mistake of believing that all of us are scum," he warned, shaking a finger at the young queen.

"Of course not, you good sir, are the epitome of class and knowledge," she offered, sketching a bow in the Nord's direction. "And so, if you would be so kind as to direct me in the tasks you wish for me to do?"

"It's nothing much lass, only a few people in town trying to duck out of paying off their debts to the guild." The young woman nodded as the man described the people she was to hit up, but not kill. A pair of Nords, and an Argonian that had grown backbones at the wrong times. Her ears went back as she sighed; she would have to go through that tunnel again. While the people were dead, she really was developing a hatred for dark, dank spaces. Brynjolf correctly interpreting the look on her fuzzy face, laughed softly. "If you wish, there is an exit in the back that will take you straight up through the temple."

"…You mean to say, that there was a faster way down here that would not have involved killing homeless bandits? If that what you are saying?"

"It's usually only available to the members of the Thieves Guild, but I have a good feeling about you lass."

Sigh. Very Deep Sigh before she slowly reached over and grabbed the man's collar. "I am going to start beating you now. I am not sure when I will stop."

~~~…~~~…~~~

The trio of jobs went fast enough. The merchants were not hardened warriors, and collapsed under her threats. Not that she was willing to journey to Morrowind just to kill the relatives of the Argonian; the journey alone would cost more than the money the woman owed the guild. Still the money was well appreciated, since she had yet had the chance to build her funds back up again.

Mercer Frey, the guild leader, rubbed her fur in the wrong direction. She wasn't sure what it was about him that made her feel this way about the man, but maybe it was the snide way he sneered at her when he thought she and Brynjolf couldn't see him.

"-but make sure you don't burn down all the hives."

Green eyes flicked up at this, whiskers twitching in annoyance at the tone of voice. "I would like to think that I am better than that. Or do you think I cannot start a simple fire because I am a Khajiit?"

A sniff. "I only worry that your brain may be addled by, other things."

A growl as she snatched the contract information from his hands. "I have NEVER touch Moon Sugar, or Skooma, and my family refused to trade in it. Do not tempt me to burn down all the hives just because you annoy me," she snarled.

"Stay on her good side Mercer," Brynjolf offered, a grin as he rubbed his jaw. "She has a wicked right hook, and is not afraid to use it."

The girl growled under her breath as she marched out, pulling on the chain to open the trap door to the surface. By Azura above, as soon as she had a chance, she would smack that man around herself.


	7. Drabble Kitty

Ok, I was playing Skyrim, and everytime I talked to a person in town, the voice of my character kept sounding so freaking sarcastic and pissed us at the world in my mind. So, I'm writing them down before I forget them.

I never meant for this to be following an actual story line! So to help break it up, enjoy a drabble!

For the record, I don't mean queen as in a royal. (If I ever do, I'll capitalize it.) In her case, I mean queen as in a female cat.

Disclaimer: I thought I owned Skyrim once. Then I took an- no, I can't do it! It's too overused!

Warning: Salty Language.

* * *

**1. Beauty**

While she missed the warm sands and steamy jungles of her homeland, Kat'arina could admit that there was a stark sort of beauty to Skyrim, in the contrast between lush tundra and snow-bound mountains.

**2. Love**

"Who's the best friend a girl could ever have. Yes you are!" she cooed, claws scratching under Shadowmere's jaw. Normally, the undead horse would have hated the baby talk, but he had to admit that a Khajiit had the best claws to ever give somehorse scratches. Astrid never gave him this much attention!

**3. Dream**

Meeting Azura, the Daedra Goddess of Dawn and Twilight, was like walking through a dream. She still had trouble believing it happened, even as she used the Azura Star to recharge the enchantment in her bow.

**4. Haunted**

Why was it that everytime she went dungeon crawling, it was crawling with either Draugr, Bandits, or Falmer?!

**5. Memory**

It was hard to believe that so much time had passed since Helgen. Even with the knowledge that the Dragon had burned the town, it was still jarring to see the differences from her memories.

**6. Fragile**

She always had to be so careful when brawling with the more human members of Skyrim. Not everyone had claws or scales in some cases, and it was disturbingly easy to shred soft flesh if she didn't remember to pull back.

Not that Aela liked to be seen as fragile, but Kat'arina was careful even with the young werewolf.

**7. Celebration**

Alright! The Wizard's Staff had officially made it to the big leagues! Kat'arina could only grin like a loon as the newest bard from the Bard's College led a rousing round of her own song.

**8. Secret**

"I swear, it's just for alchemy!"

Farkas blinked as he stared down as the bundle of flowers in the young cat's hands. "But, it looks like a bouquet."

"I swear, I don't like flowers, or flower arranging, or butterflies either! It's just for potions!"

"Oddly specific."

**9. Promise**

The young girl stared up at the Khajiit with wide trusting eyes. The queen couldn't help but feel quite bad for the little Imperial girl, a child who was clutching the handful of septims like a lifeline. She got down on a knee, clawed hands resting on tiny shoulders. "I swear little one, just hold on for me, alright? Survive, and as soon as I have the funds, I will take you in."

**10. Innocence**

Sahloknir's resurrection destroyed any last hope that the dragons were few in number and could be contained. As long as that black dragon - Alduin, Sahloknir had called him - was still alive, more and more would continue to return. She couldn't get them all in time before they began to breed again. She was only one woman!


	8. Moer Drabble Kitty

Ok, I was playing Skyrim, and everytime I talked to a person in town, the voice of my character kept sounding so freaking sarcastic and pissed us at the world in my mind. So, I'm writing them down before I forget them.

For the record, I don't mean queen as in a royal. (If I ever do, I'll capitalize it.) In her case, I mean queen as in a female cat.

Disclaimer: I thought I owned Skyrim once. Then I took an- no, I can't do it! It's too overused!

Warning: Salty Language.

* * *

**11. Moonlight**

There were times where she just took the time to tilt her head back and stare up at the moons. The silver of the faint light would reflect in her eyes, and she would wonder if her family was looking at the heavenly bodies as well.

Right before the wolves would jump her. Never let your guard down!

**12. Whisper**

The little boy wasn't as crazy as the rest of the court thought. The door WAS whispering to her. But, do I really have to kill the wizard...?

**13. Echo**

"_What is the music of life?"_

Oh Sithis, she forgot the password! What was it Astrid said? "Ummmm, bongos and the lute? No, that's not it."

**14. Jealousy**

"Can I keep it mama?"

It was just a little bunny. And she was away from home quite often. It wasn't as if she didn't bring her daughters back things, or feed them, or give them weapon training while she was home...

Sithis Below, why was she jealous of the stupid rabbit?!

**15. Passion**

J'Zargo was cute. And committed to learning, which she truly respected. But she wasn't that kind of Khajiit, to enjoy a roll in the hay. Passion was lovely, but commitment to her would be better.

**16. Lies**

As far as she was concerned, Mercer Frey Was A DEAD MAN! The caravans relied on everyone being honest within the trading circuit, as no one else cared for Khajiit. If you cannot trust the blade at your back, then no one survives the Elswyer, and she was cursing herself that she had foolishly expected the Thieves Guild to all follow the same code.

To be fair, Brynjolf was an honorable man, Vex was open in her dislike, and Karliah was proving to be a worthy companion. But if one member goes bad, there is a high chance that others are corrupt as well.

Do what is needed, and get out.

**17. Regrets**

While it was Karliah's honor to finish the man off, Kat'arina regretted not being able to finish Mercer Frey off herself. It felt good though, to throw down her bow, strip off her gauntlets, and tear into the man's face.

**18. Trust**

This was the last time she ever got into a drinking contest! Her mother had always warned her not to trust strangers, you never know who may be a Daedra Lord in disguise.

**19. Revenge**

She was a tainted shadow in the night, Commander Maro's men falling one at a time as her bow sang. But this wasn't her main goal. First, she kills the Penitus Oculatus agents, then the Emperor, and then she would wander again.

After all, the best revenge is living well.

**20. Beach**

"I miss the Elswyer!" she moaned, rubbing her hands up and down over her bare arms. Coloring or not, she was built for jungles and desert sand, not this ice-clad beach stretching out into ice-locked sea!


End file.
